Let’s show some recognition for the cliché of ‘finding yourself’ when you travel solo. Understandable, when solo travel inevitably pushes you far far away from your comfort zone. Stepping off a plane into a completely new place without knowing another soul is pretty fucking scary. Cliches exist for a reason after all. Last November, I did exactly that, flying thousands of miles to China, to start a new adventure overseas working as a kindergarten teacher. Okay, I confess, I had a few friends here already, but I did the bulk of settling alone, not to mention, that shit is still terrifying, alone or not. I also recently took my first solo holiday to Hainan, and this has caused me to have some serious internal DMCs about solo travel.
Firstly, for me, it feels hella different from a non-solo holiday. You’re totally exposed. Any mistake is on you. If you get lost, miss a flight, or struggle navigating, you have to sort out your own shit. And yet, its pretty damn sweet. You don’t have to wait for anyone to get ready, you can eat what you want and explore where you want, when you want. You own your own holiday. Not only that, but you’re forced to be more social- travelling with friends and family often makes spreading your social wings more optional than inevitable. As a result, you have some super interesting conversations with people you simply wouldn’t have bothered with if you weren’t solo.
Solo travel can be daunting for many, particularly females, it was for me. But there is a whole world out there, and sometimes you just can’t find anyone to go with you, people have their own shit to get on with. Don’t let others dictate how you live your life. Be freeeeeeee! Here are some of my ramblings on the whole experience:
Survival mode
Fending for yourself in the middle of the big wide world definitely puts you in survival mode. You have to fully rely on yourself for everything, in a totally alien environment. Things inevitably goes wrong during travel, and you have to problem solve for yourself. Yeah, this all sounds so daunting, I get it. It scares me big time when travelling, but, man does it help you grow. You learn how to problem solve, act under pressure and be a badass traveller.
Bye bye comfort zone
You’ve got to have heard the quote “life starts at the end of your comfort zone”- that shit is accurate. Stepping into an adventure that you’re totally responsible for is terrifying, I know. You might get lost or lose money or share a hostel room with Chinese ladies who snore louder than a foghorn (been there, got the t-shirt). What if you don’t make any friends? Anxiety over issues like this can often cloud our judgement, and put us off solo travel all together.
I’m telling you now, that once you get out there and are LIVING the adventure, none of that shit will matter to you. I can’t promise that it won’t be stressful, because it will, but the joy of travel will seriously outweigh any anxieties you had beforehand. You meet all sorts of people, see a tonne of crazy mind-fuck things and eat some weird-ass foods, none of which you’d have done if you stayed right there, nestled and safe in your comfort zone. And, most importantly, all of these cool experiences mould you into a more well-rounded individual overall.
RIP social anxiety
Here’s one for the more introverted among us. I, personally, have struggled with social anxiety for a long time, and the idea of walking into a hostel full of people I don’t know used to scare the shit out of me. Okay, ‘used to’, it still does, but a hell of a lot less. Loneliness can be inevitable in solo travel. Don’t get me wrong, alone time is great and solo travel is often full of it, but our human desire for social interaction can be overwhelming after a time of being totally alone. Solo travel almost forces you to befriend new people, ultimately teaching us that new people really aren’t as scary as we first thought. I’ve also found that it boosts compassion- talking to people from all walks of life is a great way to relate and understand more about the world. So thank you, solo travel, for helping to fix my social anxiety.
Alone time
Following on from the last point, the alone time you get through solo travel is equally important. Prior to my first solo trip, I honestly struggled when I was left alone for too long- my housemates from back home will tell you that I was the neediest person they knew. Not anymore!
I think its important to be alone with your thoughts sometimes, to hang out alone and to travel individually and freely. There is simply no better way of understanding yourself. We tend to be a reflection of the people around us, so when those people are taken away, we can really see our true selves. Great for the ‘finding yourself’ travel cliché. I also think that its important not to rely on others too much for our own happiness, and solo travel really teaches us to trust ourselves in creating our joy, and how to do so. As Ru Paul says at the end of every Drag Race episode: “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gon’ love somebody else?!”.
Independence
Maybe I can be too uptight, but my biggest angst when I go travelling with other people is having to agree with them on everything that we do. Which attractions, how long to stay there, where to eat, how to move around, whether to go out drinking or stay in. The absolute best thing about solo travel is that you can do whatever the fuck you want, when you want.
Quite simply, solo travel is total and absolute freedom. You can live your own adventure, exactly how you want to. No restrictions. No arguments. New friends. New experiences. And, at the end of it all, you end up a badass, self-loving, self-confident, travel savvy version of yourself.
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