Before I start I would just like to say that the opinions in this post are based on my own personal experience and reaction to the show. I also have not read the book, and am only able to comment on how the TV show and other’s responses have made me feel. It has been super hard for me to open up about the struggles of my life, but I think that they are important in the discussion. Obviously, this is a very controversial topic, and I am open to any debate around my comments, I am merely stating how I feel with the information that I have.
13 Reasons Why is a hot topic right now, confronting issues including slut shaming, rape, bulling, suicide and coming out, and has proved incredibly controversial in its depiction of these topics. I could talk for hours about each of these things, but the most pressing to me right now is what it reveals about mental health. Maybe I will talk about the others in the future, we shall see… This post isn’t a plot summary of the show, but in short it is the story of a teenager who ultimately commits suicide, leaving tapes behind for those who she claims contributed to her downfall. For me, the show was absolutely heart breaking, and as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, with the worst of it happening in high school, I found Hannah’s story incredibly relatable. It was shocking for me to find a barrage of posts criticising her character online, the most popular being that she was an attention seeking drama queen, overly insensitive to every bit of bad luck that came her way, no matter how small. Quite frankly, these people, who likely jumped on the bandwagon when the show went mainstream, have no fucking idea.
Mental health absolutely sucks, there is no doubt about it. It has the potential to turn your world upside down in a blink of an eye. For me, I can feel normal and happy one minute and suddenly this great wave of darkness can hit me the next, and I enter this deep hole of sadness I can’t get out of. In high school, I had suicidal thoughts, and almost like Hannah, I imagined writing letters to everyone that hurt me telling them the pain that they caused. I wasn’t a drama queen, I had a problem that I didn’t even know that I had. My depression and anxiety makes me highly self-critical, and any form of off-moment with anyone can cause my mind to go inward and trick me into thinking that the whole world is out to get me. Obviously bullying didn’t help, which I also suffered in phases, and this escalated my already unchecked mental health into a downward spiral. I am not saying that the bullying wasn’t an issue, but the fact that my problems went unchecked meant everything became a million times worse than if my mental health was perfectly normal.
Even today, after medication and counselling, that shit still happens to me. I am incredibly lucky to have people in my life that support me when I need, and if a break down is coming, they’re there, right away, ready to talk with Netflix and cuddles on standby. But even if people act a little off with me, I occasionally go into internal freak out mode. Take the build up to my 21st birthday, for example, it felt like my friends were excluding me, hanging out without me, and I immediately assumed that I had done something wrong. My mind was telling me I deserved it because I was a terrible person. It turned out that they were planning and making my birthday present, which, if you were wondering, is probably the nicest present I’ve ever received. Obviously, this is super minor in relation to the issues that Hannah suffers in the show, but I think it’s a good example of how depression and anxiety can twist your thoughts. Okay so Alex wrote her name on a list, but evidentially her mental health was escalating, and would have made that situation appear a billion times worse, especially after her harassment. If the sensitivity that my depression and anxiety give me make me a drama queen then fine, I have absolutely no control over it. The only difference between my situation and Hannah’s is that I have been diagnosed, she wasn’t.
Quite frankly, calling someone out on their sensitivity is dangerous. People have every right to be sensitive if something has hurt them, big or small, and it is nobody’s place to judge them for that. If you haven’t suffered from mental health issues, you sure as hell aren’t in the place to judge someone for their struggles. Okay 13 Reasons Why is fictional, but much of what it shows is representative of the turmoil that mental health issues bring. The plotline revolves around Hannah’s blaming of others for her suicide, yes, but its purpose is to highlight how mental health can get progressively worse if left unchecked. It reveals that actions hurt people, and the show ultimately preaches that if we showed greater sensitivity towards others, people’s struggles would be easier, which I personally do not have a problem with.
Another major criticism of the show is how the story is told through Clay, not Hannah, resulting in a failure to highlight the realities of mental health. But surely that’s the point? We shouldn’t have to hear her side; the show reveals to us that whilst mental health can be fucking up its victim from the inside, to others, everything seems fine. Through the tapes and Hannah’s blaming of her failings on others, the irrationality that mental health issues bring become clear. A lot of nasty shit happens to her yes, but depression and anxiety create this alternate inward world that distorts everything. It’s the story of her suicide, clearly she has problems. We shouldn’t have to hear her voice to understand. We still have a long way to come in society in how mental health is viewed and we evidentially still appear to have to spell that shit out to people who can’t see beyond themselves. To see Hannah as a drama queen is to see everyone with depression as a drama queen. It is comments like that which can absorb someone who suffers with such problems.
Nevertheless, the show totally triggered me. I cried at every episode. But I knew what I was letting myself in for and was ready to take the journey into my past feelings. If anything, it made it clear to me that communication is so important, and if I did ever act on suicidal thoughts, it would cause a fuck load of damage. I’ve seen complaints that the show romanticises suicide and makes it a feasible option for teens that share in Hannah’s issues. I’m sorry but you can’t blame a TV show for people’s mental health problems. Instead it would probably be a better idea to look at the real reasons why suicide is so prevalent in teens today. The show comes with warnings at the start, and it is the decision of an individual if they want to watch something that could potentially trigger feelings about something that they are effected by. I’ve also seen criticisms that the show turns suicide and rape into entertainment. Yes, this could be problematic, but where do you draw the line? There are movies out there about other horrors of life. Watching painful things triggers emotion and urges us to make a difference. Today, the media is essential to creating change in society, whether we like it or not, and I don’t think that we should shy away that.
I think that the show has a much more positive message than it has been assumed, and the final episode ‘Behind the Tapes’ makes that very clear. We need to speak out, be there for people and start conversations about mental health. These things all helped me get better, and I believe that they can help others too. I think it unfair to jump to conclusions about mental health, and from personal experience, I support the message that 13 Reasons Why is preaching.
If you think you are effected by mental health issues, or know someone that is, check out this link for info/help.
For more info on the show click here.
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