Everyone wants what they can’t have, right? This is pretty much the story of my life; I have spent the entirety of it despising my unruly, curly and frizzy hair. Whilst my dad had an afro and my mum, waves, my hair became a clash between the two, a ball of messy curls.
Growing up in Bucks, England, I saw little diversity and no one I knew had hair like mine. My parents didn’t know what to do with it; my mum and I had regular detangling sessions that mostly featured a very dramatic performance from me. When I was nine I started to get bullied, with ‘birds nest’ the most favoured insult. Into secondary school ‘mop’ was preferable, whilst some stepped up their game and compared me to various animals; cocker spaniel was a particular favourite. As minor as this might seem, it effected my self-confidence for years to come. I hated how I was different. I would have given anything to have hair like my peers and still probably would. I vowed to straighten my hair for the rest of my life; no one would ever know.
Growing up also featured hellish hair dresser visits; something every naïve curly girl has experienced. These acclaimed professionals have simply never understood my hair, scolding me for my frizz and damage whilst encouraging me to straighten away the curls. Haircuts were always a fail; little understanding of the shape of my hair resulted in ridiculous looking styles and of course, too much hair being cut off. My worst experience was definitely that time £200 was spent on getting a permanent straighten that involved lopping off most of my ‘damage’ and the reapplication of chemicals on my hair. Six hours later, my hair was as curly as it had ever been.
Then comes the everyday struggle. The hours of straightening, leave in conditioners, crazy hair masks and detangling. Then a few years ago I found the online community of other curly girls and realised there was an answer to my struggles. Finally, 18 years later I finally learnt how to embrace my hair and look after it properly. For the first time I started regularly wearing my hair naturally!! Naturally Curly and SunKissAlba changed my life. I started cutting my own hair, gave up towels, and started using natural products suited to my hair. Although I still have a long way to go, I’ve stopped laughing out loud every time some says they wished they had my hair. Hopefully one day all the damage I’ve caused will have grown out and my hair will resemble something of a curly Rapunzel style. For now, I will just try and embrace who I am.
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